Ah, zazen. Seated meditation, more or less. Having been raised in a fairly typical American/Christian home, my experience with meditation is fairly limited. Not that there's anything inherently "un-Christian" (or certainly "anti-Christian") about meditation, it just isn't discussed or even acknowledged in those circles. It's as if that sort of thing is reserved for the exotic "heathen" nations of the world.
Still, as was pointed out to me, the human body, the human soul gravitates toward stillness. Perhaps that's why so many of us enjoy television? The chance to stop, sit, unmoving, without thinking for a time. But the mind is still cluttered with thoughts and images. I can see the value in true zazen, but at the same time, I'm trepidatious.
Something in me believes that there must be a right way and a wrong way to do it, that it must be this large, complex function whose meaning runs deeper than what I am capable of fathoming. I want instruction, guidance, but my life is so busy, where would I find the time or the person to help me, much less the time to fit it in somewhere?
Excuses. Fear. Internal struggle. Stuck. Even more need for stillness. Sigh...